daybook: december 21.

FOR TODAY DEC 21, 2009…

Outside my window… Still a lot of snow on the ground. It’ll be nice to have a white Christmas.

I am thinking… About everything I have to finish up by Wednesday so I can just relax and enjoy Christmas Eve and Day.

I am thankful for… My husband. Five days a week he leaves for a 12 hour shift at a job he isn’t thrilled with just so I can be here with our children.

From the learning rooms… We’ll only be finishing up the Jesse Tree this week. It’s Christmas vacation!

From the kitchen… Nothing yet, but by Wednesday afternoon I’ll be preparing the bunuelos, natilla, and Jesus’ birthday cake and probably making the pizza dough ahead of time for our Christmas pizzas.

I am going… Christmas food shopping today. And to the post office. Wish me luck with that last one!

I am reading… A Father Who Keeps His Promises by Scott Hahn.

I am hoping… I am actually reading a great article on hope the virtue from the latest Rosary Confraternity Newsletter.

I am hearing… My kids play with their new toys from a family Christmas party we attended yesterday.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…

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Novena of Grace

Today begins the Novena of Grace to St. Francis Xavier.

I don’t remember when I first discovered St. Francis Xavier. I was very young and not yet confirmed. My parents had gotten me a collection of saints books written by the Daughters of St. Paul. I loved every one of them- they were great books. I don’t remember the title of the one about St. Francis Xavier, but I do remember that from the first moment I read his story I was enthralled and inspired. When it came time to choose my Confirmation saint I knew exactly who I wanted. St. Francis Xavier.

At the same time I was having a hard time in my life. I had terrible teeth. I mean awful. On the bottom, each tooth had its own row. On top it was similar, plus those teeth jutted out. My overbite was so huge I could clamp my top and bottom teeth together and still stick out my tongue. I got made fun at school and in my neighborhood at home. My parents tried to get me braces but the cost was just too high.

I was confirmed on the Feast of Christ the King- November 21, 1994. In one of the cards I received at the celebration afterward there was a holy card with a picture of St. Francis Xavier preaching to pagans on the front and the Novena of Grace on the back. How timely! A few days later on November 25 I began the novena. My intention was, of course, for braces. I said the whole novena, promised to name my first born son after him if he answered my prayer, then went on with my life. I knew I would get what I asked for- it said so on the holy card.  “All those who implore my help daily for nine consecutive days, from the 4th to the 12th of March included [or Nov 25 to Dec 3], and worthily receive the Sacraments of Penance and the Holy Eucharist on one of the nine days, will experience my protection and may hope with entire assurance to obtain from God any grace they ask for the good of their souls and the glory of God.” At the time I didn’t understand everything in that sentence. I just knew it said I would get what I asked for.

Three months later my parents came home from their hour of adoration very excited to give me some news. One of our parish priests had joined them and asked if they’d ever thought about getting me braces. They told him their story- that they’d tried but had no way to come up with the money. “Well,” Father answered, “A parishioner who is an orthodontist has come forward and volunteered to give your daughter braces for free.” My parents couldn’t believe it. Braces just falling out of the sky like that!

“Aren’t you shocked?” they asked me. They were slightly annoyed by my lack of surprise. I told them why I wasn’t surprised. I had said the Novena of Grace so of course I was getting free braces. That surprised them even more since I had never told them.

In spite of my lack of surprise, I was SO glad and grateful for what I received. I pray for that orthodontist every day. God bless him! I gave my first son the middle name of Francisco (St. Francis Xavier was Spanish, after all!) in keeping with my promise. I do imagine him laughing a little at my 12 year old romantic notions. Or, who knows, maybe the offer of a namesake really was what moved him to aid my cause!

St. Francis Xavier, pray for us!

in God i trust.

Lord, my heart is not proud;

nor are my eyes haughty.

I do not busy myself with great matters,

with things too sublime for me.

Rather, I have stilled my soul,

hushed it like a weaned child.

Like a weaned child on its mother’s lap,

so is my soul within me.

Israel, hope in the Lord,

now and forever.

Psalm 131

Trust in God. Do you trust Him? Completely enough to turn your life over to Him? Do I?

This issue has been on my mind for a long time. I’ve been pondering the subject of trust in God for many months now, but especially in the last week it has been on my mind. I try to trust in God. I say I do in all my prayers. It’s easy to say the words. But, words and actions are two very different things. The act of trust- proving my words- is much harder. It shouldn’t be, but sometimes “letting go and letting God” is scary. I don’t know what will happen when I do.

My parish has been offering Bible studies through the Great Adventure series throughout the last year. We started with A Quick Journey Through the Bible, and the underlying theme seemed to be trust in God. It really struck me. Every week, each of the fourteen books of the Bible that we read through, the theme of trusting in God was so prevalent. This may seem obvious to most, but I had never noticed it before. Had everyone trusted enough in God to obey Him, even when they were scared, so many problems could have been averted! It made me focus on my own life. How many times did I thwart God’s plans for me because of my lack of trust and obedience?

My children always come to mind when I think of this. My son is hanging from the monkey bars at the park. He can’t go any farther, but he’s afraid of getting hurt if he lets go. “I’m right here,” I tell him. “I’ll catch you.” But he doesn’t let go, he keeps hanging on- even though his arms hurt and his hands are slipping. It would be so much easier for him to let go so I can catch him, but he’s too afraid I’ll miss and he’ll hit the ground. I’ve never dropped him- he has no good reason to think that I will this time. Just so with God. He’ll never drop me. He never has. Letting go is just so scary sometimes!

My husband and I had to make a decision last week. We thought we knew what we were supposed to do, and then suddenly, several new options came up for us to consider. This wasn’t the kind of decision in which we could choose an option and if it didn’t work out we could try another. Whatever we chose was it. Understandably, we really didn’t want to make the wrong choice! After a few days of prayer (and a great, timely homily on trusting in God- it was like He was talking right to us!), we realized we didn’t have to make the choice. God was in control and He would take care of it. I agonized a little as I let go, but when I finally did, I felt so much better! Things are not falling into place the way I wanted them to, but I know from past experience that things will probably work out better. I just need to trust Him.

“He who trusts himself is lost. He who trusts in God can do all things.”
- St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

Catholic Woman’s Daily Planner

It’s here! It’s here! It’s here! My “Catholic Woman’s Daily Planner” from Family Centered Press has arrived. I am so excited!

I have always used some type of planner. I am one of those who plans out everything (though since I’ve had kids I’ve learned to learn to use pencil ). I’ve had my eye on this planner for a couple of years and last week I finally decided to take the plunge. I am so glad I did! I chose the 8 1/2 by 11″ planner, spiral bound, with the menu and  lesson planners included. It’s perfect. I cannot wait until January 1, 2010 so I can start using it!

Following is a list of my favorite features about this planner.

• Daily prayers and a section on “Living the Liturgical Year.”
• Each month has a blank, lined page for notes, a two page spread monthly calendar, and then a weekly calendar with the saint of the day listed, as well as that day’s readings and rosary mysteries.
• Quotes from saints scattered throughout. I love inspirational quotes.
• There is plenty of space for me to keep my perpetual lists (yes, I am also a lister!) of books, movies, websites and places to visit.

I am glad that I had the menu planner and lesson planner added on. It will be easier for me to have everything together in one place. Highly recommend.

on washing dishes.

I really dislike washing dishes. There are no worse household chores than those involving the kitchen. Unfortunately, this also happens to be the one chore that must be dome everyday, several times a day. The consequences of neglecting kitchen duty are unmentionable. I often dream of buying less food in order to make room in the budget for disposable paper products. Sadly my “green” conscience won’t let me produce that much waste, even for the benefit of not having to wash dishes.

Another option I’ve considered dates back to colonial times. In those days dishes and utensils were rather scarce. Since there were no Walmarts or Williams-Sonomas in the wild forests of Virginia, the colonists had to make their own eating devices. Just one of their methods involved carving indentations in the tables where the food could be set. When everyone finished eating the table was wiped clean and that was that. NO DISHES TO WASH! The problem is, I’m pretty sure my black pressed particle board table would not be very pretty with sawdust colored grooves carved into it. I don’t imagine it would clean up well either, not to mention the fact that my family would think I’d gone nuts! Other colonists would carve a trencher out of a small log (a sort of rectangular shaped bowl) and then the family would take turns eating out of it. Voila- only one dish to wash! Of course, I would still have to wash it between each eater- no one wants to eat out of a dirty trencher- so scrap that idea. No good. I guess my only recourse is just to wash the darn dishes.

A few months ago I read St. Therese of Lisieux’s autobiography, The Story of a Soul, for the first time. I am kicking myself for not reading it earlier- like when I was a teenager! I connected with her on so many levels, but the idea that struck me most was her “Little Way.” God is everywhere- even in the ordinary, simple details of life. Like washing dishes. God has given each of us a task- our daily duty- and we glorify God by doing that to the best of our ability every single day. Every task can be a prayer offered to God.  She said, “What matters in life is not great deeds, but great love.” The smallest action done with love can be more important than any great deeds a person does for personal glory.

When I was younger I had big plans. I was not going to be at home washing dishes.  I was going to be out in the world making a difference.  I imagined myself as a type of lay Mother Theresa,  feeding and educating the poor in developing countries. It was a dream I had since I was a small girl and it was hard to let go. But God had other plans for me. I was dreaming too big. He still wanted me to dream big, but in a “Little Way.”

“Our Lord has deigned to explain this mystery to me. He showed me the book of nature, and I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful, that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not lesson the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all the lowly flowers wished to be roses, nature would lose its springtide beauty, and the fields would no longer be enamelled with lovely hues.And so it is in the world of souls, Our Lord’s living garden. He has been pleased to create great Saints who may be compared to the lily and the rose, but He has also created lesser ones, who must be content to be daisies or simple violets flowering at His Feet, and whose mission it is to gladden His Divine Eyes when He deigns to look down on them. And the more gladly they do His Will the greater is their perfection.

I understood this also, that God’s Love is made manifest as well in a simple soul which does not resist His grace as in one more highly endowed. In fact, the characteristic of love being self-abasement, if all souls resembled the holy Doctors who have illuminated the Church, it seems that God in coming to them would not stoop low enough. But He has created the little child, who knows nothing and can but utter feeble cries, and the poor savage who has only the natural law to guide him, and it is to their hearts that He deigns to stoop. These are the field flowers whose simplicity charms Him; and by His condescension to them Our Saviour shows His infinite greatness. As the sun shines both on the cedar and on the floweret, so the Divine Sun illumines every soul, great and small, and all correspond to His care–just as in nature the seasons are so disposed that on the appointed day the humblest daisy shall unfold its petals.” (St. Therese of Lisieux, The Story of a Soul)

My great works are being done at home, for my family and those around me in my own community. My role for now is to be a wife and mother- the best I can be. I can teach my children about compassion and generosity and love. I can teach the importance of doing God’s will everyday, even when it involves only wiping countertops and cleaning the same dirty dishes everyday, three times per day. I still abhor dish washing.  But I can wash them with love for my family and for God and know I am doing exactly what He wants me to be doing.

faith is an action word.

cross posted from Our Adventures.

“Faith is the assurance of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

By faith, man completely submits his intellect and his will to God. With his whole being man gives his assent to God the revealer. Sacred Scripture calls this human response to God, the author of revelation, “the obedience of faith.” CCC 143

In faith, the human intellect and will cooperate with divine grace: “Believing is an act of the intellect assenting to the divine truth by command of the will moved by God through grace.” (St. Thomas Aquinas) CCC 155

Faith and obedience cannot be separated.

home is where the heart is.

Lately, I’ve been chafing over the size of my apartment. It’s too small, I would tell anyone who’d listen.  My prayers revolved around getting a home of my own. A house, I just knew, would solve all of my problems! Right now, there are five of us living in a two-bedroom apartment. Sounds miserable, doesn’t it? I did a good job convincing myself that it was. We need more space, I wanted to scream. Nothing too big or fancy, I’d pray. Just two or three thousand square feet. My request was so humble, and so deserved, I knew God would answer my prayer and hand me a large cookie-cutter house in the suburbs for an amazingly low price.

Luckily for me, He had other plans. I don’t get any house right now, large or small, midtown or suburb. I get to stay in my apartment. When I first realized this, I was feeling quite blue. Dry martyrdom, that’s my lot in life. I pictured myself among the squalor, eyes raised to heaven in suffering submission, as bodies fought to get past each other just to get a drink of water or use the bathroom. Welcome to my hovel. My misery was trickling down to my kids. Since I was miserable in this small, small space, then they must be too. They too were convinced that a house would solve their problems. It’s true that Mom sets the tone of the home!

About the time I realized how stinky my attitude on life in general had become, I understood that that attitude was spilling over into my perception of my home. Yes, there are five of us sharing a two-bedroom apartment, but did I mention that it was an 1100 square-foot apartment? It hasn’t shrunk since we happily moved in, oohing and awing over the size of it. Seriously, many of the houses in our price range were smaller than this apartment. My three kids may share a room, but not only is there room for their beds and dressers, we also fit in three toy boxes and two bookshelves. Not to mention all the cleared space they have in the room for playing. I decided to go through each room, noting its size and merits, reminding myself why this really is a great apartment.

The conclusion I came to was… I had too much stuff!  A little purging and rearranging will open our large spaces up even more.  What better place to start blooming where I am planted than in my home? My children start school next week and I’ll have to dedicate most of my time to teaching them, so this week (and the past few since I’ve had this revelation) is purging and spring cleaning week. I will make this apartment a happy, comfy home again!

it’s all about attitude.

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”  Hugh Downs

I have been having one of those years. I’ve been having one of those years for years. My whole life has been spent planning what I’ll do when things get better. I have been waiting for the ideal circumstances in order to begin living my life for as long as I can remember. Oh, have I been praying for God to change things! He has finally answered my prayer, but not in the way I thought He would, of course. After many subtle (and some not-so-subtle) hints, I can see that life isn’t ideal. It really won’t ever be ideal. By nature we are sinful and this really puts a damper on living a perfect life. But it’s also what makes great saints- people who take what they are given and do their absolute best with it in less than ideal circumstances. I strongly believe in free will, but I also strongly believe that God always puts people in certain times, places and/or circumstances for a purpose. It’s then up to the person to choose to do what he or she was meant to do.

That is what I plan to do from now on. God has so much He wants me to do now. Not later. Now. Also, lately I have become quite pessimistic, and I fear, somewhat bitter. That’s not who I am. Usually I am the incurable optimist- nothing gets me down! So I have decided to really put my life into God’s hands this time, and leave it there. (I tend to take it back a lot.) I will learn to be content with ALL of my life and circumstances and live each day to the fullest. To the best of my ability I will do God’s will each day, even with the small stuff. Watch me bloom!